Baby & Me

It’s time for another episode of “Pretend Single Parenting with Mrs. Fantasy!” This is a shortened version as papa is only in the studio three days this week. Last night, baby and I gorged on chicken fried steak, creamed corn and French fries from Hyde Park Bar & Grill before turning down the lights and relaxing in the La-Z-Boy, like a couple of stuffed teenagers, to watch some rotten cable programming. I was sawing logs by 10:30 and managed a full eight hours of sleep which is the BEST! We had a full morning of waffles, Elmo, and “can you guess where I’m hiding while I poop in my diaper?” Daddy came in from the back house all disheveled from abbreviated sleep but with that warm, contented grin of a proud family member.

Little W is heading back to school next month. You will soon be privy to a blogged collection of mishaps and mistakes (mostly performed by moi). Yesterday I received a call from the school Willem went to when he was this young…






















and they said they had an upcoming vacancy for a Tuesday/Thursday slot. Hallelujah! Since I knew his wonderful nanny was soon to return to educating other people’s snotty nosed dear ones, I had begun a search to find a place to put him on a part-time basis for starters. I wanted to see what other schools were in the ‘hood but it didn’t take long for me to find myself dialing his old school like it was a 911 emergency. I visited a place not too far away and came home completely horrified at what I glimpsed and smelled. I was told by a few folks that this school is a “good one.” En route to work I can always see the little tykes in their diapers barefoot and frolicking about behind a little picket fence but what is beyond the fence is another story. What was supposed to be community water play looked more like puddles and pools of bacterial soup to me. What was supposed to be patio body painting looked like a case pending for a personal injury lawyer. What was supposed to be an edamame snack for toddlers looked like a) a child labor situation with tiny baby de-beaners at work, b) a potential staff-wide refresher course on the infant Heimlich Maneuver. The school smelled of mildewed carpet and staleness. As I was shown around, I wondered if everyone just ignored the offending stink or was just used to it. Shelves were dusty with unused toys, things seemed to be teetering at curious angles ready to collapse, and I felt claustophobic. I could be over-reacting here but this is my interpretation and my interpretation was scared of this mess. Thankfully, we are bound for familiar surroundings and I can’t wait!