Ick

Nothing says Merry Christmas more than taking goodies to the elderly couple next door and realizing you've got a candy cane stuck to your ass after the fact.

True story.

Bah Humbugger

What I’ve done already today because I’m insane:

-Started packing for a trip tomorrow
-4 loads of laundry
-Painted a huge spot repaired two years ago in the breakfast nook
-Hung 3 new framed pics, one of the Hubs xmas gifts
-Vacuumed living room
-Showered and finally shaved leg forest
-Baked a loaf of bread
-Loaded the dishwasher and ran

Left to do:
-Prep food for tonight
-Bathe and flea dog
-Bathe W
-Figure out what to wear tonight and tomorrow
-Finish packing
-Oil change car

You know what I’d like to be doing? Nothing. No wait, I’d rather be hanging with friends, drinking holiday cocktails, stuffing myself stupid with foodstuffs, kissing under the mistletoe, playing board games or charades, etc. Sigh.

W is so stoked about Santa coming tonight and we’ve used the bearded fable as a way to discipline him by saying he doesn’t want to be on Santa’s bad boys and girls list, get coal in his stocking (“What’s coal, mommy?), etc. After the holiday passes I’m wondering how I’m going to get the great results I’ve been getting for the last few months? I don’t think the threat of a baby new year, a cupid or the Easter bunny will have any affect on him. Guess I’ll go back to the flyswatter.

Happy holidays y’all.

Sloth and Gluttony

I sit in the kitchen surfing the net and reading the New York Times online while the Hubs hovers in the soft glow of his laptop at the dining room table. W is on the couch watching Monster Jam clips on my iPhone. We are disgustingly high tech and fully engaged here. Jazz music plays in the background and heated dry air billows from the vents as it has once again gotten cold outside. We don’t have many plans today which is as a Sunday should be. Tuscan kale soup is on the lunch menu and tuna will be on our dinner plates later. All is well.

DO YOU EVER…

-Dress in the morning and think to yourself, “I’m looking really good…rowr,” only to pass by the full length mirror later in the day and think, “Ugh, I look like hell! What was I thinking?”

-Consider pinning a note to your child that says, “Merry Christmas, I’m yours!” and sending him/her to the elderly couple living next door?

-Think back to the time when you were pissed that you could stick one pencil between your butt cheek and your thigh and it stayed but now you can stick a whole package back there and it stays?

-Wish that all of your bras didn’t need to be padded?

-Hope that Benicio del Toro will call you on the phone because he “needed to hear your voice?”

-Think you sing really, really well…in the shower?

-Pretend you are talking on your cell phone or turn to talk to your child in the back seat while the homeless guy tries to wash your windshield?

-Hide somewhere in the house and jump out and scare the beejeebus out of a family member?

-Pop open the perfume inserts in magazines and lay them about while flying on an airplane and sitting next to someone with body odor?

-Wave to the security camera in stores or at the ATM?

-Answer a question with a question and keep doing it?

Yeah, me neither.

Holi-Daze

Thanks to the unwavering desire of my son we start each and every day watching Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer. It used to be my all time favorite holiday show and now, well, let’s just say I’d love to have that little effer’ on my dinner table come Christmas eve, red nose and all. W’s seen it so many times now I can leave the sound almost all the way down. He’s pretty much memorized all of the dialogue. When the show came on several weeks back I looked forward to watching it with him and the moment when the not so scary abominable snow monster roared his menacing roar and poked his head out from behind the cardboard icebergs, scaring the beejeebus out of W. Now he just yells at him and tells him he’s not so scary without teeth. He sings the theme song, adlibbing all the way through while including decorations on our tree…”you could even say it glows like the star and the red car and the purple ball and the snow man…” Too much of what was once a good thing is now as bad as fruit cake. I guess I could erase the program from the DVR listings but I really don’t want to start my day by thinking of what cocktail goes best with French toast.

Back in November I bought several boxes of gingerbread houses to give to the ankle biters in the family to take home and put together. W and I talked at length about how we would decorate our first edible dwelling. We ooohed and ahhhed over the image of the one on the box and marveled at the detailing. There was even a video we could watch online to aid us in our construction. Much to my chagrin after much waiting and dreaming I opened the box to find that both of the roof pieces were broken. We were gung ho about the operation so we both agreed we’d forge ahead and mend our roof with the more than adequate amount of icing included. W watched me put up the walls of the sugary structure but that was about the extent of his participation. All he really wanted was to eat the smaller pieces laying about. I let him eat the snowman and soon after he was sitting on the couch watching a show as I hammered away at this fading holiday moment. He showed just about as much interested while (not) helping me decorate the tree a few weeks back. He sat his tiny butt on the sofa and periodically remarked, “Hey mommy, that’s beautiful!” or “Hey mommy, that’s so pretty!” Totally hands off, totally like his dad. So the gingerbread house was a bust as you can see.
















We’ve really gotten in to hibernation mode in the purple house. Ever since the first cold snap several weeks back it’s been hard to stay out from under many various blankets thrown here and there. When the sun goes down we all eyeball the stairs in anticipation of racing up them to the snuggly nest above. We don’t encourage W to sleep with us but his tiny furnace of a body is welcomed these chilly nights. Thank goodness we don’t have a fireplace or we’d me MIA all winter’s long.

Table For One

Do you know what “bliss” is these days (I’m referring to the days that currently label me as stay-at-home mom and assistant to a very busy/disorganized husband)? “Bliss” is going to the Dollar General store ALONE and having a long lunch at your friendly neighborhood Mexican restaurant ALONE. By the way, the money saving tip of the day is to visit your neighborhood Dollar General store for many of the things you pay full price for at your regular full price paying haunts. They’ve got tons of cheap stuff, some pretty neat stocking stuffers for the kiddos and there’s usually never anyone in the place. Never mind the surly checkout girl in the blinding yellow vest or the poor homeless fella who you wished was hanging out by the air fresheners and not the trash bag isle where the low priced Hefty Cinch Sacks are that you need. I got in the habit of frequenting the Dollar General in Marfa where the tunes were great and the staff was super-friendly. Besides there wasn’t another option in town for brooms, Matchbox Cars and curtains.

The restaurant I go to has two televisions programmed to the same station. I like this because they are in Spanish and I try to keep up but mostly I marvel at the skimpy outfits these incredibly attractive Latinas are wearing as they host their talk shows. Their teeth are as white as marshmallows and their grins, huge. That’s almost as distracting as their figures and fashion choice of the day. I look past them at the other people on the set, usually some sort of fly girls in equally skimpy clothing and one or two additional male hosts, and everyone acts like this sexiness is totally normal, that a bare midriff and tatas up to there with those lipsticked porno mouths is normal and I think that’s SO rad. And if I was that hot, I’d totally dress like that, too.

There’s a feeling that almost overwhelms me when I dine alone in the middle of the day. With my book in my hand and my Diet Coke just arms length away, I am just me. I’m not disciplining anyone, not tending to anybody’s needs, not sharing a morsel and it kinda rocks. I don’t even have to look around the room. I’m in my little bubble of lunchtime glee. I switch between reading my book and deciphering what the Latina sex goddess on TV is saying about children in need or something. And that is all. When the waitress comes over to ask if I need anything else I almost say, “A hug.”

I think I need to get out more.

Good Things

W, after being run over by his Bigfoot monster truck, still tends to the needs of his tiny purple ponies and Jelly Cat. Awwwww...

Last night’s dinner and the night before: Wednesday we slurped wintry vegetable soup that the Hubs liked about at much as wearing underwear. I thought it was good but without the toasted crostini topped with goat cheese and chives afloat in the bowl it would’ve been a little too boring. Last night the Hubs pan seared some Hawaiian Orange Nairagi fillets, nuked a couple sweet yellow potatoes and we finished the meal with a beet, goat cheese and spinach salad. Very simple, very good. Tonight we’re warming our innards on rigatoni swimming in hot sausage and fennel. Add to that some crusty bread, a juicy red wine and we’ll be ready for a long winter’s nap.

Today’s money saving tip: Actually I have two…one is to unplug all appliances, etc. that you aren’t actively using to reduce your electric bill. Of course the Hubs forgets about this one and is often waiting for lengthy spells for the water to boil in the electric kettle.












The other tip is to give homemade holiday gifts this year. Yesterday my aunt who lives in nearby Oatmeal demystified the art of canning for me. We made a myriad of jams and a jelly which will be part of my gift giving collection. I am finding an irresistible urge to make goodies from the home and heart this year. Probably the only good thing coming out of this recession for me.

Random thoughts: I wondered the other night while putting a Spongebob Squarepants band-aid on my thumb after slicing it open with a serrated bread knife why, before I had my son, didn’t I ever stock my bathroom shelves with whimsical band-aids? They actually make me feel a little bit better than putting on one of the nondescript flesh toned stickies.

I’ve always wanted the smell of my laundry to be the envy of friends and family but thus far to no avail. Downey without a doubt reminds me of my Granny so I can’t use that one. I like being periodically reminded of her when I stand downwind of someone’s softened threads. I remember hearing on NPR about a recently completed documentary on wives of deceased soldiers who anxiously awaited their husband’s garments from the front lines so they could bury their noses in the essence of their flesh only to find everything had been previously washed and smelled like Tide. How heartbreaking.

W just peed on my jeans because I forgot to place his front-end business in the proper place while he pooped. Nice.

Happy Friday everyone!

iLove

Before I went to Marfa I purchased an iPhone. I needed the reliable AT&T service down in the bowels of Texas. I don’t think the Sprint folks even know that part of Texas exists because I could never get service via them with my old phone. I also needed a way to be able to keep in contact with everyone involved with the project out there while roaming the 8+ acres and neighboring towns. One of the best features of the phone is the YouTube icon which is W’s favorite. He easily figured out how to manipulate each screen to get to the YouTube option and can now waste many hours watching video after video of monster jam action. This comes in handy when meals at restaurants get too long or I have a lengthy grocery store list to fulfill. The down side is that all of the videos he likes come with really bad clips of music that have now lodged in W’s large noggin’ and he sings them all in succession many times a day. They are George Thorogood’s “Bad To The Bone”, Baha Men’s “Who Let The Dogs Out”, AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” and some horrible teen angst tune about not wanting to live. It’s bad enough that W’s vocabulary is laced with monster truck names like Grave Digger, El Toro Loco, Monster Mutt, Predator, and Backdraft (among many others) but then you toss in those little scores sung aloud by a three-year-old and I am often just inches away from that “drinking in the closet thing” I’ve written about before. In W’s room there is no less than 20-25 monster trucks and lately he’s been asking for Santa to bring him a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer monster truck. Santa better get on that one pronto.

I never owned an iPod prior to the one on the iPhone and it has just about changed my life. Wherever we are I can dial in W’s sleepy time music to ease him into dreamland. When we go walking I can stick it in my pocket or in the stroller and we’ve got theme music to move to. Of course there’s the ever-popular spontaneous dance party and when the iPod is on shuffle and kicks out a series of the most appropriate tunes I call it the “iPod del Fuego!” Grrrr! It comes in handy on long drives and I have found that I can stick those little white ear buds in my ears and successfully tune out the tot for about 100 miles at a time. Yeay!

Let’s not forget emailing, instant messaging, iMeditate, Spanish Word of the Day, Bright and Beyond Preschool Playtime Activities, iMoods, and that every popular camera feature. This is something else W has mastered on the iPhone. He has quite the eye for a knee high budding photographer and has captured some great images. Take a look here and in the top right corner of the blog. Cool, no?

Leftovers

Last night's dinner: leftovers from Friday night which was Eggplant and Spinach Lasagne Spirals. I’ve been making these since the recipe came out in 2002. It’s very time consuming but well worth the effort and the presentation is unique for lasagne.



Today's money saving tip: shop at your neighborhood Goodwill. I spent about an hour there today combing through the kids clothes. Thank goodness the music they pipe in is decent because the place has the odor of neglect and abuse and makes it hard for me to breathe. I did find some great shirts and long johns for W for about two bones a piece and scored on a Junk Food brand “I’m A Pepper” t-shirt in my size and in great shape that would normally retail for about $20. Let me say that the young girls clothing selection is the best and so are the newborn options because infants wear their stuff for like 7 minutes before they’ve outgrown it so at Goodwill that stuff is in superb shape. Take some time on your lunch break, put on some scented lipgloss to mask the stale air there and dig in. I bet you’ll find something you can’t live without.

So since I’m not working and the Hubs is now home we’re getting to spend much more time together. This is both good and bad. This morning it was nice to drop off the tot at school together and then head to town lake to walk for about an hour with the dog but you would’ve never guessed the Hubs was going to be my athletic partner in crime. He was wearing his super skinny pencil leg jeans with Doc Martins as ankle weights and his rocker looking Ray Bans. I had to beg him to leave his bajillion dollar leather jacket behind because, seriously, I didn’t want to exercise with Johnny Cash. Towards the end of the hike I was certain his hiney was going to flame up from the friction he was complaining about back there. Good times with more to come.

Here are some pics from our days in Marfa...

The Long And Winding Road

It’s time I get back to the self indulgent writing exercise known as blogging. The original intent of profiling my fish bowl existence with W and the Hubs in the beginning was to keep from forgetting all of the good, bad and funny details as they whip by. At W’s ripe old age of 3, I’m finding there’s more fodder than ever before so it’s essential that the documentation continue. I want to have bragging rights when I can’t even remember my own name and have taken up residency at an assisted living compound for rock n roll widows. Question is will I remember the blog URL when I’m 80?

To briefly recap the summer, I reorganized the family unit, abandoned the Hubs and took a job in Marfa, TX, with toddler in tow. 5 months we were gone. It was glorious and challenging and beautiful and strange. I never did get W a nanny (hard to find in a town of 2,000) thus we spent TONS of quality time together. I did get him a lovely Australian Shepherd puppy that he named Ruby Tuesday, after the little cartoon Max & Ruby and the Rolling Stones tune. I needed an additional distraction for W and a new companion for me as well. As the months zoomed by I oversaw the installation of a well, an irrigation system, enough electric to power a small town, a septic system, and demolition of the home on the property. Never did I’d ever dream I’d learn about such things, a complete departure from event planning yet I found many similarities as well. Every day was an event, a chance to learn something new and it got my gerbil on a treadmill of a brain going and growing. W embraced his new surroundings and learned about tarantulas, rattlesnakes, tumbleweeds, yurts, constellations, and all sorts of life-sized construction equipment. He had 8 acres on which to roam and explore. He was never bored. Plus the community in Marfa is a true one in the sense of the word. Everyone rallies and plays together. We constantly cooked out together, ate together, met for drinks often and energized the local grapevine with gossip. In the end though, it was good to finally get off of the proverbial “island” and come home to the Hubs and our lovely home although someday I hope to return and work with those amazing folks again. Our days now are filled with getting re-acclimated, a Tuesday/Thursday school schedule, a Wednesday a.m. art class and playing catch up with the Hubs who left for 3.5 weeks about a week and a half after we returned home from our adventure.

I guess that just about catches us up, doesn’t it? Reach out and ask questions if I’ve missed anything.

Let’s tune in now to real time, where at this very moment W is peddling for his life on this…























A Christmas gift from Gogo and her awesome sig other. It’s called a Smart Cycle and I give it 5 stars. It’s great b/c he can dial it in himself without any parental assistance and he’s getting both physical and mental exercise. Anything that allows him the chance to be independent is cool with me especially since W is still suffering from a serious case of mommy-centricity and loathes being out of my orbit. Completely exhausting.

With time on my hands I have already updated my goals for 2009 list, which I will periodically profile as the New Year approaches and beyond. Writing about the lofty personal expectations will help keep me accountable. In 2008 I proved to myself that if I dream big and put my fears aside I am completely able to navigate through various self-imposed challenges and come out the other end in a much better state than I expected. I mean, that’s all easier said than done, right? I’m ready to do that again times 10 but in a way, I’m starting from scratch with no job at the moment and technically, the Hubs isn’t employed either. His new record doesn’t come out until the spring and who knows what will come of it (but I have high hopes since it TOTALLY RULES!). This a scary place in which to begin.

In the coming blog entries, I will highlight any money saving techniques we’re practicing, kid-friendly craft ideas and what’s on the menu around here. We love to cook and that’s something we’ll always burn our cash on.

So hello to all. It’s good to be back.