Shame On Me

Sorry about the absentee-ism, y’all. I’ve been busy and lazy and uninspired. Working on 4 MAJOR events at the job with all but one of them happening before my sabbatical starting on June 16th. All of my creative juices have been dumped there. I also worked an event this past Saturday night for a set of twin girls that turned 25. Mad Hatter theme at a local bar and let me just say that when the DJ played the much requested Sweet Home Alabama, the group of 35 went wild…and most were barefoot…in a bar. ‘Nuff said.

We decided that since I am taking W out of school for eight weeks, we should keep him in the infant room instead of moving him up like he was supposed to do. In August he will make this transition over to the bigger kids room. Several of his buddies are moving on without him though. He will see them beyond the chain-linked fence and they will touch fingertips and toss toys back and forth like a sad, romantic movie. It’s better this way.

And for your reading pleasure, here are the latest escapades and highlights of W’s world…

-First off, poop in the tub is the grossest thing ever and W thinks so too. Yes, it happened one evening and I could hear W exclaiming “Yucky!” over and over while I went to get his pajamas (for you parental watch dogs out there, for the record, W’s room is practically IN the bathroom so I wasn’t out of his sight for less than 5 seconds). At first I wasn’t so sure what the “yucky” was as the tub was filled with foamy bubbles like a giant latte but the truth was soon revealed as he recoiled on his tip toes at one end of the tub and pointed to the tan turd breaching like a baby whale at the other end. I now have OSHA on speed dial.

-W is big into giving hugs and will come at you mid-play and say, “Hug” like it’s a military command. He leans in a little, gives a noncommittal squeeze and then resumes play like it never happened. Occasionally though the hug is accompanied with a kiss, the awkward preteen, open mouth sort with eyes wide open that even gives me pause.

- His vocabulary is huge, people, and it’s totally freaky that he can actually tell me stuff now, in complete sentences and with complete meaning. He might even be keeping a journal. He’s growing much too fast.

-He now sings Melmo’s World and Old MacDonald while playing the piano. So gotta get this on film. He also counts to 5 and can say the first 5 letters of the alphabet as well. Little genius.

-Memorial Day, I awoke at 9. 9! In the a.m.! We usually are up and at ‘em no later than 7. W had gone to bed at his usual 8:30 p.m. I was certain he was either ill…or dead but the god of parenting was smiling on us and neither was true and we were all getting some freebie Zzzzzs. In fact, the last time W was sick was on May 16th so we are fast approaching a record of healthfulness but I have probably just jinxed us by writing this.

More to come…

The Poop We're About To Be In

How do you know when it’s time to begin the adventures in potty training? W is only 20 months old but I think I’m seeing some major signage, poop flags, if you will. I’ve heard that teaching little boys is a bit more challenging than teaching girls but I think W is seriously considering some toilet time or headed in that general direction at least. On a regular basis and usually in the morning he comes running into whatever room I’m in and says, “Poop poo,” and then heads straight to his room. He stands next to his changing table with his legs spread and hands griping the table like he’s waiting to be frisked. Usually though, he’s a little too early in his poop prediction and there’s nothing in there but air. What he’s telling me though is that merch is on its way and if I hang just a few minutes more then doodie duty will be on.

I bought him a small plastic potty a while back that I unpacked and assembled for him the other day. He has really been enjoying lifting it’s little plastic lid and having a seat on the squishy blue ring while pointing to the adult toilet nearby and requesting a pretend group effort. “Muh-ma, pooh poo, ” he commands. Ahhh…the candid spirit of the young. This morning he wouldn’t let me out of the house until we had a little loo sit-in. I need to get the Hubs in on this. He likes loo lingering and leaves a library of newspapers, crossword puzzles and time management books in his wake. These two could clock some serious quality time in there.

W hasn’t read any books on the subject or seen any DVDs so I better go get some. If there are any suggestions out there on your favorite poop poo productions, please let me know.

On the health front, I awoke to a normal eye this morning. No more corn flakes hanging off the lashes, thank god. The ulcer on the inside of my bottom lip is finally going away so now I don’t look like I had that botched botox job BUT I’m still battling a ribcage rattling cough that turns my lungs inside out and back again like a pair of athletic socks and my throat is raw, raw, raw. My abs, on the other hand, are like a six pack of Red Bulls. Seriously though, enough is enough. The Hubs is begging me to go to the doc but I heard from a friend this morning that I need to get on some Echinacea and garlic so I hit the GNC earlier. Hopefully this will work. I dread the idea of my doc scripting me with some hard core meds. I just don’t do well like that.

Weekend Rewind

Friday I was feeling like H-E double L so after work, I faked happy, healthy mommyland with W and as soon as his tush was in the crib, I was curled up in bed reading this. Now earlier in the day, I had read about this book on this blog. Amazon.com had awesome reviews about it so I had to get the darn thing stat. As luck would have it, I found it on the shelf at Half Price Books that same day for $9 bones. Score! Now, like I had mentioned I was feeling pretty effing sick at the end of the day and had grand notions of getting some major Zs but when I cracked the spine of this little gem and launched into the first few pages, I was hooked. I am not a reader of the thriller or horror genre but this one had me by the gonads right off. I barreled through the first 15 chapters and, with tired eyes and midnight posted on the clock, I finally decided to turn out the light but was actually too spooked to fall asleep. Remember, the Hubs is still out of town. I clicked the light back on and read another 5. I finished it in broad daylight the next morning. Whew! What a ride! I can’t wait for the movie!

Saturday night, I took myself out for dinner and drinks. I told myself I looked great, picked myself up at 8 p.m. and told myself I was going to have a good time. Me, myself and I ate here where a dear old girlfriend of mine works. When she’s on the floor, I put myself on autopilot and let her do the wine choosing and plate ordering. She delivered wild greens, rabbit and duck to my little spot at the bar and paired them with varied grapes from around the globe. We were chatting away, talking about all sorts of personal things within earshot of everyone in the cozy space. During that time another girlfriend came in with her husband and another gentleman, both of them Brits. We all hunkered down together for some lovely conversation, or should I say, I struggled to understand what they were saying and did a lot of nodding. Turned out, the guy to my left was the road manager/sound dude for Joseph Arthur who was playing later that night. Yeay! After dinner, we all hiked on down to the venue and totally enjoyed the show. It’s been ages since I have flown by the seat of my pants like that and doing it solo was quite refreshing. Needless to say, I awoke in a little fog the next morning but when you've got a kiddo in your orbit, it’s always show time so I got my arse up and took him to school. That’s right, the Growing Spore had childcare on Mother’s Day. I had 5 glorious hours to do whatever the hell I wanted. Days prior I had designs on getting a manicure/pedicure, a massage, my truck cleaned and maybe even squeeze in a movie but instead went back home, took a 2-hour nap, had a crappy lunch at a non-descript Mexican joint and got some shopping therapy at my favorite store, Last Call. When I returned to get W, he was still napping, in the land of nod, 3 whole hours of nap. $35 worth of nap.

The Hubs returns tonight and he’ll be home for 3 whole days! After that he’ll be home for a week and a half. ‘Tis the life of the musical and parental.

Best Question Eva'!

“Muh-ma, Muh-ma! Air are yew, Muh-maaaa?”

This is what I heard W’s sweet little voice saying from his room just now.

Son, I’m right here, in your orbit, where I always hope to be.

Good Morning Cyclops

I awoke this morning with the eye grunge that W has been harboring the past week. It’s just in one eye though, one really pissed off, puffed up eye. Nice. When W is down with some bug, I rally my troop of mamas for info and advice. This is always a great plan of action for me because I learn something new every time. Like this for example. I didn’t know that every Thursday this site is updated with the latest bugs that are going around the city. And wouldn’t you know it, W had exactly what they described, that adenovirus crap. I guess I should put the fifth disease as the next thing he’s going to get since it’s listed there. I mean, he’s cleaning up on everything a child can get. Maybe we can get them all knocked out before his 2nd birthday and then he’ll be uber immune toddler. One can hope.

Just Blogging Along

I just ordered myself a Mother’s Day gift from RedEnvelope.com. Oh yes, I did. I even wrote out the message on the card, too…”Happy Belated Mother’s Day! Love, the Hubs.” I’m sparing him the embarrassment of forgetting such a meaningful and honorable day. Besides, he’s going to be out of town. I’m also getting something I want, a lovely pair of earrings and a necklace to match. All under $61.00. Before shipping.

I took my wilted flower of a son to school today. I tried to ramp his enthusiasm by outdoing myself in the “front seat dancing while driving and singing about school” department. Other drivers think I’m off my rocker. It worked and the school hasn’t called yet to tell us to come get him. He is feeling much better which is a relief. It breaks my heart in a million pieces to see him weak with sickness. Makes it tough for the Hubs and I to get along in the midst as well. He’s got deadlines and work to do, I have an office to report to and it completely stresses us inside and out. It was finals week at area colleges so no last minute students-for-hire could be found. I wonder what other families do when faced with this? I'm looking forward to using the two months I’ll be off this summer to determine if my child is naturally this sick or if school is the culprit. Then we will be able to figure out a better plan of action…different school? Stay-at-home help? Stay-at-home mom? All I know is I really need the Hubs out there writing music and finding artists to sing them and not hanging around the house with a sick child. I’m ready for that ranch/beach house already.

The Hubs is off tomorrow for several days playing gigs so if you’re in Dallas, Lubbock or Los Alamos, New Mexico (huh?) then go see him/them. Also, if anyone is free Saturday night and would like to join me for dinner, I have a dateless date night scheduled. Although I don’t mind drinking alone…like I do…in the closet…several times a week.

Fun, Fun, Family Fun!

Holy hell! Where have I been? We did an event yesterday in Georgetown so Monday and yesterday were all consumed with those details. The weekend was packed full of family time and almost in the “that is too much quality time” sorta way.

Saturday, we packed up the car and headed out of town to see the Hubs perform. Baby and I totally rocked out. It was the first show W had seen the Hubs play with this particular band and the kid fell into the groove like he was a roadie or something. I worried that he wouldn’t wear his ginormo 70’s style safety headphones to keep the volume turned down in his little ears but he wore them like a champ. He yelled, “Daddie, dittar!” and “Yeayyyyyy!” and high fived the sound guy like they toured together in a past life or something. Bling Bling drove in with her fab son to catch the show. We got shunted up into the balcony seats for a private perspective of the show. That’s always a good thing b/c most of the fans are weirrrrrrrd. I handed W over to Bling and he immediately passed out in her comfy, warm arms.

Our room happened to be the awesome grand suite of this old, haunted hotel and it was totally paid for by the promoter. After the show, I turned in with a sleepy baby in my arms. As I wrestled for the key to unlock the door, a girl came up behind me, her energy a bit charged in the negative direction. I said hello and the smirk on her face barely unfolded as she replied with a “Hey.” As she entered her room I heard her yell out, “This is NOT the grand suite. This is a petite suite and I swear…” and her voice drifted off as she slammed the door. She was part of a wedding party and obviously not happy with her lodging situation. I grinned to myself as I stepped in and locked the door behind. It’s cool to be a rock star’s wife, oh yes it is.

Everyone slept late the next morning, a clear indication to me that the Hubs had partied pretty late and W was getting sick. Check and check. We had plans to meet Gogo and Richard at the zoo and when we got there, the place was just coming alive. We made a beeline to see the monkeys to avoid a later crowd crush and the idea paid off hugely. As we approached the habitat for the silverback gorilla, we saw the male sitting all alone in a clearing sunning himself. He saw us and lumbered very slowly over on all fours and rested his massive frame against the 4 inches of glass that separated us. We all got down to his level and were truly awestruck by his brilliance, size and beauty. He splayed out like an Amazonian ruler waiting for someone to peel him a banana. His eyes looked at us unconcerned and calm. We all silently took in the moment until a family came along and the gorilla rose and walked away. The Hubs and I were very moved by the encounter but it also made us very sad for him and the plight of his diminishing species.

We ran amok for a few hours, dodging the clusters of gawkers and eating really bad food. It was crucial to our plan to make sure the departure home revolved around W's naptime and to make it back in time to hook up with some friends for paella, vino and toddler rompin’. We arrived a tad late but totally enjoyed the visit at their lovely home. We cherish CaCa and her parents and look forward to much more commingling.

P.S. As I assumed W is illin’ again, another bi-monthly germ warfare courtesy of his school, the Growing Spore. He had to come home early Monday but hopefully he can return tomorrow or the Hubs is going to divorce us.

38 Done Over

So things are getting back to normal here at the Fantasy ranch. The Hubs is riding out the wobbly remains of jet lag but I think the trip has put him on an awesome schedule. The past two mornings he’s been up around 6 a.m. and I awake to both of my boys creeping into the bedroom, sleepy smiles on their faces, as they snuggle in next to me to steal the warmth between the sheets.

Yesterday the Hubs insisted that we pretend that the 2nd was my birthday so I came home from work to a plethora of little surprises. This after I had to go to the school to retrieve W because the Hubs forgot to reinstall the car seat (don’t cha’ know I reminded him several times) and found it missing when he went to strap in the tot. Then I had to take the long way home so the Hubs could race back to finish setting up the goodies. I found balloons (much to W’s delight!), flowers, a box full of homemade, handmade bath products from this place, yummy Italian cheese, salamis, chocolates, Prosecco, and a tape player with headphones attached and on top of a piece of paper that said “Play Me” on it. The Hubs had written me a song, a beautiful song, a “make you tear up and cry like a baby” kinda love song. The last time he wrote me a song, it was about my so called "Perfect World" and how I really needed to get my shit together. Yeah, so I was having issues then. I think that song could've been written for many. If you can relate, wave your hands in the air.

We continued the Italian-themed evening with a lovely dinner at Vespaio (*Personal note to my brother-in-law…I had the sweetbreads, oh yes, I did.) and returned home in the torrential rain completely stuffed and exhausted.

It’s good to have everyone back together, even if it’s for a short while. There’s a busy summer ahead, folks, more travelin’ and solo parenting. Yeehaw!

Older and Tireder

Yesterday I was feeling really sick but stuck it out here at the office, which was a good thing because there was a surprise birthday cake waiting for me at the mothership. I was too nauseous to eat a slice but wrapped one up for later. I came home with W and laid on the couch in abdominal agony. I could tell W knew something was up because he was especially good and content to watch TV and engage in some lo-fi activities. As soon as I got his tiny buns out of the tub and in to bed, I crawled between the sheets all shivery and tired. I was hoping to get at least 10 hours of sleep but W summoned my presence at 5:45 a.m. this morning. I continued to remain horizontal while he inhaled two huge bowls of oatmeal (and I’m not talking the watery, soggy instant stuff, I’m talking the “takes 20 minutes to cook and will pack you out for like two days” kinda stuff) and then we got off to school. He was in a good mood and ready to take on the infant room. I put his groceries away (seriously, it’s like unpacking enough nosh for a college student) as he jumped in to play pretend cook or chef or bossy bachelor with his buddies. As I headed out, I said, “I gotta go to work W. Bye!” and he said, “BYE!” with great earnest and then I said, “I love you!” and he said it right back in front of two teachers and a mom. “I wub ewe.” There was a simultaneous “Awwwww” and I got in my truck totally teary-eyed and thankful for such a beautiful child. Best. Birthday. Present. Ever.

The Hubs comes home tonight. Finally. It’s been twelve days and twelve nights of just me and W. We’ve bonded like 17 times already. Time to share some of the love with the Hubs.