chaos7

Monday, November 06, 2006

Ding-A-Ling

As the weeks of childrearing blow by like brittle autumn leaves, I make mental notes of W’s progress from baby to toddler the hours I am with him and as he heads into his fifteenth month of life, W has discovered a few things. An important discovery, next to the boob on the day he was born, occurred in the bathtub just last week. He was playing with his bathtub drums and dropped a drumstick between his legs. As he patted around with his hand to locate it, his five digits found his pecker, the Holy Grail to many a man. W gave it a tug and paused to look at me. I grinned back at him not sure what to do. I sorta felt like zoologist Marlin Perkins watching a lion cub taste a fresh kill for the first time. I didn’t move and waited to see what happened next. I then remembered what my parents taught me about sex which wasn’t much, if anything at all. I vaguely recall them addressing me in the living room by the gas fireplace and fake ivy and saying something about something daddy gave to mommy and it swam somewhere and then she was pregnant. The whole time I just wanted to be outside playing. Like most kids in my neighborhood, we gained full knowledge of sex in the S book of the encyclopedia collection but our own mental interpretations were a little warped. I remember giggling on the floor by the bookshelf in 5th grade as a small group of us, boys and girls, read the section aloud. All details became perfectly clear, however, when a copy of The Joy Of Sex was discovered at a friend’s house. Hello pictorals! I remember a bunch of “Ewwwwws” and “What is that?” being screeched and the book being tossed around like a bag of flaming poop. I think that whole experience stunted my sexual growth for quite a while. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and race off on my bicycle with the faux denim banana seat.

So W has discovered his schmeckel and it’s now a constant bath time plaything. It makes for awkward moments as he sits there in silence and diddles. Maybe its time for the Hubs to take over.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Graham's has been his constant companion for months. Since the beginning. On the ultrasound where we found out his gender, the nurse began the ultrasound before the doctor came in saying, "let's just play around a bit". Then she said that "baby" had its hand on the pertinent part and what were we to do? I knew right then that he was a boy. We didn't need to see it.

Now he "tries things out" on the groin area. Wonder what a hairbrush would feel like? Wonder what soft bunny would feel like?

Oh, god.

jen said...

It is amazing how early they find it and it becomes their friend!

Jen